The Other Person

I know i deserve love, but maybe it’s that i think it only comes with pain
I know I deserve love, but maybe it’s that i think love is only true if i love the wrong one
I’ve loved and I’ve lost, but maybe it’s because i loved without trust

I grew up with sad songs
I was only 10, but I understood Adele when she sang ‘never mind, I’d find someone like you’
I hurt way before i knew what love was
I sang our breakup in songs way before our hearts matured
I have scars from wounds that i never had

So don’t blame me if my version of love happens only on a battlefield
Don’t blame me if i only care about your mistakes and never about you.
Don’t blame me if my idea of a relationship rhymes with verses on a playlist
Don’t blame me if my brain doesn’t remember what my heart swore it lived through

I already mourned your future absence, so how do i live with your present presence?
I grew up only knowing tortured love, forced hearts and pain.

So when i say i love you, you have to understand that
I dug you from the grave i put you in
I removed the red flags i placed at your doors
I took off the clown costume i made you wear
I stopped relating to a hurt I’ve never felt
I stopped spilling milk to cry about
I stopped diving into unrealistic standards
I stopped romanticizing you
I stopped making you the victim in my fairytale
I stopped believing that beauty comes with a beast

So when i say i love you, i need you to understand that i deserve to love you
I need you to understand that you won over my vices
I need you to understand that others before you heard the same word,
but you’re the only one my heart touched.
I need you to understand that i killed my pride
I’d even lay my life for you
I need you to understand that my brain has recognized you
My heart takes your heart in vein

I know I deserve love, and maybe it’s because i met you.